Men vs Women (in relationships)

I would like to start this post by disappointing everyone, so I can give you the good news later. So… Why do relationships fail? A question with many answers. Relationships end because of not expressing freely ones thoughts and feelings(in a nutshell). This includes both men and women. There is no guilty-free gender here. I will be as explicit as I can in describing what happens when relationships end or when people lose interest, or even why they have affairs.

Men have this ideal in their mind, it is called the “Ideal Woman”(IW). Every single man on this planet knows what his ideal woman looks, smells, feels, sounds, walks, talks like. Sadly, for every man out there, this woman does NOT exist. Using images and character traits of women a man has seen, or met, in his life, he creates this perfect being which lives inside his head and pops out every time he sees a woman who has one or more of these characteristics. But that is not all, he uses the IW to find a girlfriend, a lover, a wife and even a one night stand. The woman who is the closest to a certain man’s IW, is the one he will focus all his attention on. Another interesting fact here is that men see traits of the IW in every single woman they meet or see in their lives. I have made this statement in order to answer the question “Why are men so superficial with women?”. Because they see something in every one they meet. They are not superficial, they are searching for the IW. Only few know that the IW does not exist, that’s why, for many men, the search never ends.

Women are the complete polar opposite of men when it comes to relationships. Most women do not know what the “Ideal Man”(IM) looks like. The women who say they do know usually fall for someone very different than what they’ve imagined. But women do know something, something very important. They want to be swept off their feet by a man who is interesting, or who they find interesting. Now, there are a lot of interesting men in the world whom women find very attractive, but what happens to a woman when she finds herself in a relationship with this kind of a man? The relationship is perfect until one key point. Being very rational and logical creatures, men let themselves grow their feelings to a certain point of maximum, and then the feelings stop. They remain at those certain levels and they stop growing. They don’t decrease, not yet. The feelings of a woman never stop growing. They go beyond those of a man’s. That being said, it is not uncommon these days for women to eventually consume their man. All the love, attention and affection that he has, she must have them all to herself.

This is the point of failure in relationships: when the person next to you is not what you have hoped for. The woman’s feelings go beyond those of the man’s, while the male feelings go way below the female feelings. So, while women go up and desire more of that certain man, he will go straight down and stops seeing her as the IW. Instead of sitting down, relaxing, and handling their problems, both parties turn to the “easy” way out, like cheating or break-up. Why? Because the women want the IM to make them feel what they have felt before, and men want to be appreciated by the IW for everything they can give. Nothing more, nothing less.

Unity can be achieved in relationships. It is easy, but not simple. Men have to let aside the IW, and realize that she only exists in their minds. Searching for her is pointless, but searching for a woman that appreciates you for who and what you are is not. Women must accept the fact that men only have so much to give, and that her primary role towards her partner is to help him achieve his ultimate goal, not distract his attention from it.

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